The more things change….

The apology first…it has been a long time…I am sorry…there how was that?

Back track a little….Richard’s dad is fine for the time being. It is many more down days then up. We have not heard from anyone ‘in the know’ for a few days…we can only assume that he is …OK…I guess.

Spencer made his return from strep land without missing a step.  He went back to school and got caught up on his work and is all back in line.  I think catching up on the trumpet is harder then anything.  But we push on.

Griffin is as always Griffin..he has been well and groovin’ right along.  He did get a tad bit of a sunburn on Sunday (I know it is March but remember his delicate Russian born skin!) but he is fine.  Note to self start with the sun block in March next year.

Now, the more things change….

There have been some things going on that have no bearing on this blog but they have taken a large bit of my energy and thought and thus I have not been here.  After much contemplation and conversation my brother, Todd, who was part owner in R.E.Decker Land Surveyors has decided to be bought out. He approached Richard with the idea and they have been working on a final contract for Richard to buy him out. That has happened and as of Friday Todd and Richard have ceased being business partners. Richard is sloe owner of R.E.Decker and Todd is moving his family to Utah. He has been offered a job working for the United States Air Force as their first Surveyor. He will be overseeing projects is my understanding. I have not talked to him about it so I do not know exactly what he is doing.

This hits on many levels. My brother, with whom I am admittedly not super close to is moving a days drive away.  We have never really been more then a few hours from each other (except the two years he was at Florida Sate 20 years ago) I have been used to seeing him nearly every time I stopped in the office. That will not be happening. Then there are my nephews and niece. Now, I have to say that it is a long time since we have seen them and the reasons vary but now being a day away makes it seem…sadder. I have not got a super huge connection to my SIL anymore (though that has made me sad on other occasions as well) I will miss her too. The thought that I won’t get invited to come and see them and take interest in their new beginnings is heart breaking for me and I hope things change before they leave. They are on an exciting adventure that in ways I am jealous of.

For our own anguish here on the home front…we see a lot less of Richard these days.  The company that employed over 10 people a year ago now has THREE. Richard will be working harder and longer days to get the work done and out, being the only Registered Surveyor in the office now. The entire responsibility rests on him as sole owner. That impacts his time home, his time for himself and his health. Big changes. This damn economy calls for big changes..taking people from you and making people less available to you. Then there is the empty bank accounts and retirement funds. But investments in our home and our business…better then the stock market we hope. Improved home sales improves business..but we did sign on for this…we opted to buy Todd out…no complaints from us. We hope it only gets better from here on out.

The boys have been told that dad will be around a lot less this summer…there will be no baseball, for dad can not be there to help coach and Spencer really needs some guidance in that place. The fall will being floor hockey back and he is good with that to look forward to. Griffin still has his Tuesday nights with Richard and Spencer gets all the scout stuff with him.  It will be good. If I want time with Richard I will have to beg for it but I think I can go for a summer break…after all I did have him all to myself for over 15 years. I will be ‘working’ more for Richard answering phones from home..anything to help. I am doing what I can saving big money on groceries and more and more I don’t even have to grocery shop.  That is a good money saver. Doing my best to try to not complain too much.

So those are the heavy things that have been weighting on my mind…a lot longer then this past three weeks. Words have been said; hateful, angry words. Things have been done to hurt…things that will all take time to overcome. They can and will be overcome.  Time…Time will help…

I will miss my brother…and I love that he did address a book to Spencer as his Godfather…

but I will miss him.

whatever you call it…it is what I am doing…

aperture, blank, breach, break, chasm, discontinuity, gap, interim, interval, lacuna, lapse, opening, rift, space or maybe…hiatus or sabbatical …or… break, furlough, holiday, leave of absence, liberty, recess, time off, vacation

blog-less-ness

yeah…I know…busy momma of late..will try to get back on board…sorry

for those who wonder…

I have not forgotten about the update post about Spence’s birth father N.  I have had a talk with my friend at our agency and we are set to go and visit Oma and Opa and have a talk with them. I have talked Aunt Judy’s ear off and she has given me so much information to digest. The  plan is, that by the end of March, we should be in the home strech with a decision and a plan of action.  So look for something about that whole thing after the 22nd of March.  Thanks for asking and for your words of encouragement. I have not forgotten you all.

his time may have come….

yesterday we had a strange hang up call from Richards dad on our voice mail.  Richard called him back last night and he said all he wanted to do was wish him a happy birthday because he had forgotten to.  It was a nice gesture and appreciated by Richard. He and his father have not always had a good relationship.   It still could be a whole lot better, but it is what it is. His father and I on the other hand tolerate each other.  He and I do not have an relationship except for that limited contact because of Richard. His dad has said mean and hateful things about me and to me and really I just have place for that venom in my life. Being the bigger person, I go to his home and encourage his second oldest child to have some sort of relationship with him.  I feel that is all I am required to do. Once the boys were born, then my roll changed a bit because after all he is their grandpa. But our relationship remained unchanged.

The phone call ended last night with his dad saying that he has lost control of some of his bodily functions.  He has been quite ill for some time.  They have no money his wife works two jobs and he spends his days in front of the television in a recliner unable to do anything for himself.  He lives in Florida. He can not walk without falling has very limited eyesight and huge “I never took care of myself for my entire life” issues with his body.  Diabetes, way overweight, just always been very unhealthy and abusive to his body. This morning Richard’s older brother calls and says that dad is not doing well he says he is ready to give in. His wife is with him but he thinks that Richard should contact his dad again today. I wonder if his brother called Richard’s two sisters too asking them to call his dad? I called Richard at work told him what his brother said and will let him make the decision to call his dad or not.

Now we have the unfortunate decision as to how to handle this with the boys. Of course if he passes away we will go to Florida and there will be a funeral and we will be there. The boys have not had some one close to them die though they have talked with us about it before. We talk about Grandpa Ray and Grandma Lynne a lot and what death is and means. I guess I am just not sure that I want to tell them before he passes and give them the opportunity to talk to their grandpa one last time. I think I would rather just let the cards fall the way they will.

Ok so that is what I have for now…

Confirmed

yep…strep…he is a trooper though…he knew what that throat swabbing was all about and he did it with out problem. I kno 13 year olds who put up a fuss. Omnicef it is to do the trick. Doctor says if he is fever free and feeling up to it he can go back to school tomorrow but I will hold off and see how he is doing.  I am glad that he is on meds and super glad that it is not mono. Now if we can get the illness buggies out of the house it would be great.

So….STREP???

It was my day to go to Spencer’s class and help out with math work.  I like to help out but sometimes this new way of teaching things is hard to grasp…but I did get the hang of it.  I am used to teaching LD kids and doing things in the simplest way to teach them what they need to do to get through the work.  No fancy “try it this way and “look see you can get the same answer if you try this…but I do enjoy it. When I got there Spence was in another room taking tests he missed while he was out sick. He came back while I was still there and was happy to see me but looked terribly tired. He said he was fine.  At 4PM I went to the bus stop to get him…he looked worse then earlier…as soon as he started to talk I could tell his throat was hurting…he told me his neck hurt inside. I told him he would be staying home tomorrow and we would go to the Doctor I am sure he has strep…at least that is what I hope because the alternative is mono…with this level of tiredness it is a slight concern. Having had mono I know it sucks royally. So I am praying really hard for strep.

I know some are thinking well he wasn’t faining the illness as in the boy who cried wolf post…well he was better in those days and has been since…I think it has been brewing…he test for strep came back negative last week…I bet it is positive tomorrow…

more then.