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  • What I said before

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Catch this Train

Since I have met my total out of pocket deduction for the year 2008, I have decided to have all the medical procedures done that I can have done or need to have done before the year is over…that means you as the reader get to come along…are you lucky or what…feel free to unsubscribe to the bloglines feed now…it could be a long year. Well, what is left of the year.

So I have spoken about cushings disease before here and here. In my battle to find answers (since my Endo found nothing out of the ordinary in my blood work) I have asked my GP for a Dynamic Cranial MRI and he said OK…just like that..OK..I also asked for a new sleep study and he just said OK ..to that too…so I am going in for the sleep study this Friday night (it is interesting I had one done in 2002 but nothing was concluded…now I know I need a Cpap…) Then next week I will have the MRI with results in a few days after that…so if you want to join me on the rollercoaster of medical procedures catch this train as it leaves the station.

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Stent removal tools and placement in body

this first photo is the stent removal device…. it had a gelwater flowing through it and it was a evil as it looks… the next photo is what it says, the stent is placed in the female body in the ureter that is a long trip…when he blasted the stones he went to the back of my kidney. He explained to me that the kidney is like a muscle that cleans out the impurities and having a stone in a muscle really hurts ezpecially when that muscle works expanding and contracting…that was enough information for me. Stent removal devicesPlacement

Igor…you may not even know him…

I have been inactive on the yahoo group that is from the people adopting from Griffin’s home town in Russia.  I have not done it purposefully but have been finding other places to read.  I had a back log of posts to read there almost daunting…

I received an email from Amy telling me that I needed to get caught up at the Yahoo board and see if I knew this child that just came home from there are he is Griffin’s age.  My thoughts were this…OK so that means that this child I would have no doubt met. Possibly I have a picture of him/her…so I make my merry way the yahoo group board and begin reading the posts

The mom of the child in question wrote that they were home recently with their son.  Please email with questions…I immediately email her, tell her who I am how I got her email and ask her the relevant questions. What was your sons name in the baby home and was he three and a half.  She responds with the name Igor…Igor…Igor…tears stream down my face, Igor…OMG, Igor…and best yet she sent a picture…he is so adorable….and so grown up….Igor…crying like a baby, Igor…Richard comes to me and says what the h-e- double toothpicks is wrong…I show him the picture…his eyes widen…he looks at me, looks back at the screen…Igor?…is it Igor???…how can you forget a face that you fell in love with a face that the ladies in the baby home said would never leave the home because of his Gypsy heritage….a boy you thought was destine to leave the home at 16 serve his time in the military and then put on the streets to survive…knowing that most Russians have the same feeling about the gypsy heritage as the baby home people, Igor. Yes, Richard it is Igor. He is home. He is in Houston Texas and we have the privilege of knowing he is home and OK. Once we left the home his little hand waving good bye like he would see us on our next visit he was all smiles. All I ever wanted to know was that he was OK and safe and had a home. I know now that he does. I am eternally grateful. His mom and dad have to be pretty special people for to have been chosen to be his mom over everyone else.

The story of Igor is a beautiful story from Richard and I….we of course were head over heels in love with our little Griffin (Andrey).  Seeing the other children there day in and day out broke my heart every time. Only having walked on our shoes could you possibly know the feelings of pain and guilt and anguish we felt each and every time. We had decided that since we could have Griffin at home forever we would try to leave a little bit of our love with each child there…we spent just as much time with the other children as we did with Griffin knowing that at the end of the journey he was coming home with us. These others these empty little eyes..not so much…maybe never…we had a life time to love Griffin and only a few visits to love the rest.

One trip one we were fascinated by this little boy IGOR, who was robust and giggly and just beautifully colored and outgoing. We has anxious to meet us and play.  He interacted often with us with Griffin. Griff was not in a place to start walking his legs were just getting strong and pulling up. Igor was ready he was walking around everything.  We had asked about him and why this seemingly very healthy boy was still here…the answer…gypsy heritage…because the Russians look down on the gypsies the world must…they are so wrong but you can not tell a Russian anything. We told them that we would love to bring him home too with us..no…end of conversation…we did wish to help him so we did what we could…we taught him in 3 days and 4 visits to walk. He was the proudest little boy ever….by the time we cam back on trip two he was wearing shoes…which you only get when you can fully walk. The translator said he was given shoes the day after we left from trip one…she said to me you beam like his mother….I said I am proud like his mother would be. After our required visits with Griff we left leaving that precious child and all the others to languish in the baby home.

Here is where I must interject that as far a typical orphanages and baby homes go, the baby home in Glazov is a ten plus. They LOVE the children….they care deeply for them….but at the end of the day it is their job and they go home. The children stay that is HOME. I think of the home as a really nice day care center with overnight accommodations…I know that in most of Russia the homes are nothing near what my child lived his first year of life in.

Upon returning home and having the best of life with my boys…I would often wonder about Igor, the boy who would never leave the home.  When we would do things as a family I often dreamed it for Igor…and soon that too passed. But now, dream no more he has a family and they are making life long memories together…and maybe just maybe….someday I can see that little one in person again…if the stars align we can get all our Glazov children together someday.  I also have regained contact with Lana, our translator in Glazov and am thrilled to be able to talk with her again. She tells me that just last week they were talking about me….I am proud that they think of me often and happy that they are talking about me…I feel like at least I made some impression. They did call me the mother hen because every time we came in the children would all clamor (they don’t usually do this with strangers) to us and I would immediately get down with them and play…it was a special time in my life, one that I will never forget.

SO isn’t it nice to hear such a beautiful story…..I know it is one for my heart forever…

The S.T.O.N.E. beginning to end….IT IS A LONG ONE

SORRY FOLKS….TRY TO STAY WITH MY RANDOM WRITING..

Having NEVER had any kind of back pain before (sorry Amy) I was quite unhappy when I was woken up at about 1AM on the tenth of April with really really extreme pain in the lower right side on my back…real bad pain…unexplainable pain (having never given birth which they say is ALMOST as bad). I stood tried to go to the bathroom a couple times…walked the house four or five times thought about going outside for a longer walk and then went back upstairs…..yes, Richard (the man I love dearly) slept through all of this nearly 1.5 hours. I tried desperately to lay down but it was not to be. I began to get dressed thinking the entire time should I wake a friend/neighbor surly Richard has to stay here for the boys he can’t take me….so I decided to go it alone…once dressed I woke Richard and said I was going to the acute care center with extreme back pain. I did not get an acknowledgment so I said it again and I got. “Okay, I heard you go…” well, alight then I am going…

The Drive….not much to say only that it is about 3 miles…once I got there I did not remember getting there…it was all a blur…I do remember that I did not see many other cars at 2:15 in the freaking AM.

Once there I walked to the desk and perched myself on the front desk..literally perched in the most comfortable position. Talked to the nurse…though not sure what I said other then PAIN….she sent me to the room where I perched again to be comfortable…the nurse came in and gave me a gown and I dressed and laid down??  If that is what you can call it. The very handsome, young, African American Doctor, came in and seeing me in pain ordered pain meds. He and I talked and he sent me for a CT scan…yep there is a stone…and it is a mighty big one…but not round…6mm one way and 8mm the other.  So he tells me I have to go to the hospital to have it taken are of…I ask if I can have some one come and get me and take me and he advises me that he has called an ambulance and they are waiting for me…policy. SO off I go in the ambulance…a long ride, longer then I thought it should be but then again I slept or passed out for some of it..

At the hospital I was admitted into the.last.bed.  guess where..pediatrics…the exact same bed we had for Griffin’s snip snip and tubes…what is the chance…so I lay there and they tell me they are going to put in a stent and send me on my way…HUH??…this part is all hazy to me I am not sure what happened when but I did get a stent by the dad of a Urological father son team. At some point then I called Richard and finished telling him all that was going on. It was Friday sometime in the morning. I think I woke him up at 5AM…not sure…that may have been Saturday. On Friday they told me it was time to go home but I was still in a great deal of discomfort in my lower back and asked that I stay the night…I DID NOT want to drive myself again in the middle of the night to the hospital. The Doctor approved it and I was given more medicine..I should mention that in the acute care center they had me on morphine and it really helped with the pain but I think it is why I can not remember must the next day. Then I was on some pain drug that started with a “D” and it works for about 4-6 hours before it wears off or so they say…with the way metabolize drugs it was a 2-3 hour pill for me. Thankfully I did stay the night because I was up A LOT with pain and was able to get meds.

Saturday, like I said I am not sure when I woke Richard…and again what they did is a blur but I know that both Friday and Saturday they were very busy with our regular life schedules. I also KNOW that I hated that my boys had to see me like that…the first time they came I was out I heard Griffin saying mommy I love you and Spencer saying mommy I miss you and then I woke up. It happened the same way the next time they visited. It sucked big time and I hope they never see me or Richard in that place again. SO I am officially discharged and go home in the afternoon with minimal pain.  I have vicoden now and take it at will though I like to ride the pain and see what I can take before I actually break down and take it. I am a glutton. I think I have 23 of the 30 pills left…hey that is pretty good.

The week then went on without me Richard being my hero and taking care of everything and anything that came his way.  My friends and neighbors chipped in and my mom was here on Friday night and Sunday. I am lucky to be so blessed with such great support whether it be a phone call or an email (which I got them all just late) a meal brought over for my family I am blessed beyond belief and am proud of my family and friends chipping in. I had a very wonderfully restful weekend. Saturday the boys were gone all day with their dad…various life routines and then Sunday Richard had Cub Scout training all day, his former secretary offered to take the boys for me in the afternoon to get a rest. She was amazing…she took them to the big park and then to the Mall and Serpent Safari and then to McDonald’s and then Dairy Queen. I told her not to come back and try to give me my money back that she should keep it…I told her the boys were instructed not to take cash from her either….so she spent every penny and then some on them…spoiling them ….I have to give something back to her…she had them out of the house for 5 hours and got them home 10 minutes AFTER Richard came home. Fed and ready for a bath!!

The next Thursday I was scheduled for stent removal and blasting. They picked the hospital next down the line where the son of the father son urological team worked. He was doing the surgery. I have a theory about the local hospitals…and Debbie can tell me what she thinks…the hospital closest to us on the lake front is pretty bad…the next one, the first hospital I was in, is good I would go there again and again…if need be…the next hospital is my second hospital and far out ranks the first two hospitals IMHO, as we travel down the lake front the next hospital is even better and is the one right before you get to all the Chicago city hospitals….so why do you think this is….any way sorry off track, I go in and right to Same Day Surgery.  The night before a friend of mine whom I scrapbook with is a day Surgery scrub nurse there and wanted to know if I wanted her on my case…I said no but please come and see me…well she did and she stayed with me most of the time making sure I got (and changing some rotations) the best anesthesiologist and the nurse who can put in a mean IV etc. The mean IV was not cooperative but after three times it was in but relatively pain free…so then we start talking to the anesthesiologist about my sleep apnea.  He give me a choice of a spinal anesthetic much like an epidural or a tube inserted in my throat to be removed after I am fully awake….call me crazy but the spinal thing sounded better and it was…though I should mention that I get it when I was almost out so I don’t really remember it.  We also talked about the way I metabolize narcotics and the entire ‘caine’ family of drugs. He was very happy to know that as it does make a difference. I was glad that I spoke up…ya know sometimes you think your thoughts are stupid but not me…I mention it, all too many bad experiences.   As I went into surgery, my friend holding my hand, the whole time telling me it would be great and things would be OK I went out….I do remember a few bits and pieces…I remember them putting me on the surgery table and all the machines that they would use, I remember them having me sit up for the anesthetic, I remember then putting my legs into the stirrups, I remember my friend covering my legs with warmed so no one would remark about my severe psoriasis as she knew it bothered me, I can remember the cleaning and the music and that is about it….my friend said she was surprised I could hear the music as it was low but I could tell her about 6 of the 7 songs that were played. I went to recovery and then to my day surgery room….peed and went home after about 8 hours of being there…the doctor said that all that was left was some large gravel he traveled to the back of my kidney and saw nothing remarkable …he did say that he slightly blasted some of the large gravel on his way out. The reason that I was sent to this hospital is because they have the highly coveted “green light” (not sure if I am remembering that right) system that is apparently very new and it really accurate and the best for these procedures…what do I care it is over and I am not doing it again.

Monday…the removal day….dread setting in but also happy to have it going. SO I drop Griffin off with Richard and go to the Doctor OFFICE…not the hospital…his OFFICE…how on earth is this going to work??  SO I am half nekkid in the chair all spread eagle waiting for him and being informed about the procedure and how relieved I will feel…yeah right…ever had it done….so Doc walks in and is very smartly dressed…no cover up no doctor coat…whoops change of plan….no…he is doing this in his suit and tie…lord almighty…GRAPHIC DETAILS COMING NEXT: since I am numb from the topical ointment the nurse applied he begins…sits right down and starts talking away like we were at dinner…grabs the instruments and begins inserting an arm length plastic tube connected to a gel water thing into my urethra, I am OK…. cool gel water…nice…then he inserts a metal wire thingy into the arm long plastic tube…what the…then more gel water… I am OK…then all of a sudden he says OK here it comes….wait here what comes…tell me more…and then a very small city moved from in between my bladder and kidney into my bladder and then flowed through my urethra and out…RELIEF…so even though that small little hole that has only had urine flow out a large metal stent found its way out. Some of the conversation that went on during the procedure…so you know Mary, yes, I do, I wondered why she was holding your hand during surgery, she and I scrapbook together, nurse chimes in…I love scrap booking..do you have a cricut, me, well in fact I do. Wow I want one for my birthday but I think it is out of my BF range…Doctor…well how much is it…I could get if for your birthday…me, it is about 300 bucks…him eyes wide open…well, maybe if it was 100 bucks…giggle giggle…it was interesting.

I paid my co-pay, gathered the child at his dad’s office and took him home. I am feeling a lot of relief…I will be in discomfort for about 2 days and then it will be like it never happened. Yeah Right…

So for all my medical friends Doctors and nurses alike…some of the literature he gave me talks about  black teas being high oxalate’s and that I should avoid them.  I am recently addicted to sweet tea at home and at Mc Donald’s. Is it possible that in the last say 9 months of tea indulgence this could have happened…as I sit with a sweet tea now…could it be that I have to give up my daily sweet tea….cause in reality that is all that has changed in my daily diet in the past few years…

since I can not sit here too long and post….

you get a cut and paste …thanks vote…

Where is your cell phone?in my car

Your significant other? coaching tee ball then a birthday party with both boys

Your hair? a mess…and dirty…and needs a good cut

Your mother? in Spring Grove IL today and Florida tomorrow

Your father? heaven

Your favorite things? my boys all three, boys with clean hair, a spotless organized house. Spring and Fall

Your dream last night? lately weird because of the vicoden but last night….hmmm do not remember one

Your favorite drink? Mr. Pibb cold NO ice please, ice ice ice cold water go figure

Your dream/goal? I am happy with my life, my boys..I guess to be healthier and finish off my basement

The room you’re in? kitchen

Your ex? I have no EX

Your fears? dying young

Where do you want to be in 6 years? I will be 51…good lord…so will DH, boys will be 12.5 and 9.5 holy crap…just where I am but healthier

Where were you last night? home

What you’re not? angry and bitter

Muffins? I can take them or leave them

One of your wish list items? complete re-paint (same colors) of the interior of the house painting the rooms that are still white and finish the basement.

Where you grew up? about 6 miles south of here.

The last thing you did? got the boys ready for the day

What are you wearing? PJ’s at noon how can you go wrong

Your TV? i’m not sure what this means… um, we have two – one in the family room and one in our bedroom

Your pets? do fish count

Your computer? a gateway which i like very much. would like an upgrade sometime this next year…

Your life? extremely fortunate and blessed and messy very messy…and getting busier…

Your mood? at the moment…calm slight pain in bladder area

Missing someone? yes, usually always someone is missing from my life at any point in time

Your car? 2007 Honda Odyssey and I love it….but I have not owned a car I did not love…I would like a GREENER car in the near future.

Something you’re not wearing? socks, under ware, bra…OK OK TMI

Favorite store? lately any store I can look at and or buy home things, towels, sheets, curtains, you know…

Your summer? for Spencer very busy…Griff and I not so much…would like to get myself to my friend Sybill’s neck of the woods this summer…

Like someone? lots and lots of someones

Your favorite color? always Purple but of late green and red and blue…

When is the last time you laughed? we laugh all the time in this house…even when some don’t think it is funny…

Last time you cried? April 10 or 11 in pain…just a small tear though

come on…someone else play along

201st post…go figure….

I am battling a kidney stone in the kidney that is 8 mm and will not leave my body…it is extremely painful and I am fully hopped up on narcotics…I will be back when it passes or is blown up which even come first this has been going on since Thursday night….UGH….more when I can sit with out pain…

warm weather…finally

….of course all Griffin wants to do is GO.TO.THE.PARK…big park, little park, secret park, grans park, the grove, Auntie Heather’s park…it really makes no difference…..just get me to a park…he also is fondly remembering his first trip to the park this year with Anna and Kate and Delaney…he talked about it nonstop all day yesterday.  We even called Mrs. V to  see if we could say hi….I think that he is very smitten with Kate.
Speaking of smitten….this is the conversation that took place the other evening….

Me: I think that Griffin is in love…with Peyton…

Griffin: Big smile…

Spencer: that is OK mom I had my love for her last year….

Me: really??

Spencer: yeah, mom that was last year though…

Griffin: I like Peyton mommy, she is nice

Spencer: you can have her now…

my goodness they are not old enough to be passing the girls back and forth yet…hand me down girlfriends…UGH…

So 5 or 6 years ago I began the Meadowbrook Drive Easter Egg Hunt..(with Easter being two days after Christmas this year) it was a little cold and SNOWY! SO it was moved to this coming weekend..that was fine..but now all the kids have baseball and T-ball and soccer so no one would be home for the hunt….cool…but they moved it to MEMORIAL DAY…nearly June…I mean really I get it there is a lot going on and trying to accommodate 10 families 45 people is very difficult…but an Easter Egg hunt in June…weird…so I was talking about it with one of the neighbors and she said ya know this has just gotten to be way to big of a thing…when you started it everyone brought something and the kids had a great time..now one family takes it all on and pays for it all…I said well that was not my doing or my intention when I started it. She then went into this thing about how she has this Christmas party every year for the neighborhood and how expensive it is and how all she needs to do now is have to throw the Easter party too. Well, if that doesn’t put a damper on the Christmas party for me now, knowing how she really feels about it. SHE started it and SHE chooses to do it every year…and guess what SHE invites more then just the hood and SHE along with everyone else gets STINKING DRUNK…so it can’t be that bad for her. So I said then don’t do it if it is that big of a deal to you…stop having the Christmas party…you make that decision every year for yourself…when I started this Egg hunt thing is was a neighborhood thing meant for the neighbors to get together and kinda kick off the warmer weather arrival…not for one family to take the whole thing on.  SHE said nothing….I am sure I will hear about it again….

My weekend is set now…I am scrapbooking from Friday night till Sunday Afternoonish…I am thrilled…a little time away…my mom will be arriving sometime on Sunday evening for 4 days so that will be good..I am sure that I wont be blogging next week…I will have to post my pages the following week…

Finally, a friend of ours is having brain surgery as I write…if you have a little extra time and can say a few positive thing for him that would be great. This is his third surgery….hoping it will be his last…