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    July 2008
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  • What I said before

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Validate me or don’t but you better be prepared to make your case known.

I thought it would be nice for my boys to spend a day with the kids down the street once this summer so invited them to go to a local place that is like a bone yard for old Military things…tanks, planes cars, helicopters and the like. The kids are allowed to get in them I THINK. Now, mind you, I know that she is a nonviolence mom. I get that ,I do, however, I see her children running around with squirt guns and toy guns they won at the various local kids eateries without a care. I assume that she is OK with maybe checking out this place. So when she flat out says “ah, no we will take a pass”, I ask her if this is something she likes DH to do with the children. She then goes on this tirade about how she will not glamorize war and killing and the things that are at this place represent. She says ‘the water guns look nothing like a real gun and what is she supposed to do when the other 18 children on the block have their kids out with water guns …take hers to the back yard and tell them to read a book. ‘ UMMMM yeah if you are what you say you are….non violence. I ask her about the other toy guns…she says that she’I couldn’t tell the boys no when the entire group of boys at the birthday party were buying the guns with their winning ticket.’ UMMM Yeah you could if you had a back bone. So then she proceeds to tell me that she has her boys learn about the wars and of the past with reading and not glamorization of it by turning it into a play device and thinking that it is really cool and not realizing that this was designed as a weapon for killing. She won’t have her kids climbing on them and thinking that it was a place for fun. I said numerous times that we were not going to agree because I think that letting them sit when men had to make terrible choices to kill others and or be killed is a good hand on experience. Not every child learns by reading a book now maybe that is the educator in me thinking I have to present multiple ways for my kids to learn but I would like to thin we all do a little of that. I like to give my kids hands on…she tell me I am making it in to play…like hands on with play dough …that is play. I try to explain that I want them to learn from ME about violence. About war to have the experiences so that I can tell them to yes, go ahead and sit in that seat feel that steering wheel. The men that sat there before you had hard choices to make. They may have even died. She tells me that I have smart boys and that reading about it is more then fine. She is right I have bright children…not above average just bright…but I still want to give them opportunity to have experiences that I control.

SO needless to say she and I, who we are rather good friends we do a lot together, are at odds…I knew we would be…I finally said about 30 time…I get it, I get it, I get it..and since I was on my cell…I am home now…I have to go…and that was the end of the conversation. Through out the discussion I told her we have different parenting styles we have different thoughts that is OK…now, who knows what she and I have.


5 Responses

  1. I guess I am a lot like you, in that I think kids can learn a lot from hands on, eyes on, ears open experiences. I am also very biased where military things are concerned. I grew up in the military. Both of my grandfathers fought in WW2 and many great uncles as well. My Great Grandpa fought in WW1 and I have his uniform. My Father served in the Marine Corp, and was a Helicopter pilot who flew RECON missions.

    I want my daughter to understand the ugliness of war on my terms, but appreciate what the generations before us sacrificed so we can call our great nation home. If not for some of those of wars, we would all be speaking Japanese or German…..(or gasp…snicker, snicker….Italian!!) That last one was for you.

    I can understand wanting our children to lead a pacifist lifestyle, but growing up in a bubble…….I don’t know. She is their parent and has a right to decide what her kids are exposed to, but if it means she doesn’t want your friendship because of how you feel, I don’t agree with her. Luckily, I am raising a girl, so I am hoping the whole “gun” controversy doesn’t happen. My issue , I am sure, will be those stupid Bratz dolls. (Delaney calls them “Icky Dolls” LOL!! That’s my girl!!)

    Good luck with your friend. GIve her a few days, I am sure it will all be okay.

  2. Personally, I think she’s ridiculous, but you probably already knew that would be my opinion. Does she ban them from wearing camouflage, too?

    If you haven’t gone by the time we get back from WDW, we’ll go with you. My boys would love that.

  3. Well, she’s entitled to her opinion, but, it does seem a little wacky.

  4. I agree that she is entitled to her opinion Rach…but it was the way she put it out there

    Deb we will wait till you are home to go…I knew you would go and she is against camo too…whatever…we will go when you get back…WEAR CAMO

  5. While I have no issues with squirt guns, although, I too don’t want my child to play army or shooting games. For me, it’s just personal. My younger brother is in the military. He already did one tour in Iraq and may go back. He ran around playing Army Man and Cowboy when we were kids… and now I get to envision him doing the actual job of being an Army Man. It’s a stress level thing for me. There are so many other fun things out there, so I just chose to keep him away from the violent stuff. (Now, ask me my stance on the matter in 3 or 4 years when he is old enough to do some strong pursuading.)

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