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    February 2010
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  • What I said before

an interesting turn of events

So this morning I was leisurely reading at facebook and notice I have two messages…the one was a note from a friend who is thinking about adopting and wants to go to Glazov. This was the other…

Hey Debi, the good news that I am pregnant and that I am due in April I just did not say anything bc I wanted to my divorce to though and I told my parents last nite and they seemed to be shocked and they took very well and they’re not mad at me or anything so I am excited my due date is April 11th and BF is excited too. I just did not know if I should tell you on here or in person. BF grandma and his mom already know too. Surprisingly, his mom took it very well she been talking about wanting to be a grandma and saying that she will never be a grandma and when we told BF grandma the news she is in shock.

Now, ya all know that Spencer was adopted. No big deal.  It is an open adoption so that means that we see his maternal family on a regular basis..anywhere from 6 to 10 times a year. Debbie (her name) and her sister and brother also connect on facebook. His birth dad did not want to be involved at all nor did the paternal family.  Debbie’s family, whom we love dearly, live close enough nearby that we can see them pretty much any time we want.  That is cool. We have what I consider a great relationship with them, for that I am thankful. But this news, I knew, would be devastating for Oma and Opa.  How you ask?, Debbie has learning disabilities. (see post above) She functions at a moderate level does not drive and has a difficult time holding down a job when she gets one. She is a good hearted person with a strong love of life but she is not mentally or socially capable to raise a child.  Her parents/siblings are not in a place that they can help her out at all.  BF is also mild to moderate functioning, he drives, holds a decent job, and is generally a good guy.  His family from what I hear has a lot of issues and abuse going on, making this is not a place for a baby either. But both are determined to raise the baby, live where the abuse is happening and make a life for the child.  Who am I to judge. Oma and I had a long long conversation today.  She and Opa are beyond nervous wrecks. They KNOW their child, they KNOW she is not able, they do not know what to do. Opa has sever back problems and has been out of work for 2 weeks with no pay and no end in sight. Oma works and is capable of keeping them in the black.

So I will be telling Spencer how he will be a half brother to a little girl due in APRIL. They plan on naming her Madison Marie. So many things swirling in my mind right now.From Spencer’s POV:

-Why did Debbie not keep me when I was born but she will keep this baby?

-Why can’t we adopt her?

-Will she be my sister like Griffin is my  brother?

There is just so much to think about…how will Griffin grasp that she is not his half brother?

What if she decides to give the baby up for adoption…

I guess these things will have to be thought about and prayed on that the boys can and will come to grips with the situation and that they can and will understand all that is changing in their lives.

More later…


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One Response

  1. Wow.. that’s a tough one. I hope Spencer (and Griffin) are okay with the news.

    Good luck!

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