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    January 2019
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  • What I said before

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his time may have come….

yesterday we had a strange hang up call from Richards dad on our voice mail.  Richard called him back last night and he said all he wanted to do was wish him a happy birthday because he had forgotten to.  It was a nice gesture and appreciated by Richard. He and his father have not always had a good relationship.   It still could be a whole lot better, but it is what it is. His father and I on the other hand tolerate each other.  He and I do not have an relationship except for that limited contact because of Richard. His dad has said mean and hateful things about me and to me and really I just have place for that venom in my life. Being the bigger person, I go to his home and encourage his second oldest child to have some sort of relationship with him.  I feel that is all I am required to do. Once the boys were born, then my roll changed a bit because after all he is their grandpa. But our relationship remained unchanged.

The phone call ended last night with his dad saying that he has lost control of some of his bodily functions.  He has been quite ill for some time.  They have no money his wife works two jobs and he spends his days in front of the television in a recliner unable to do anything for himself.  He lives in Florida. He can not walk without falling has very limited eyesight and huge “I never took care of myself for my entire life” issues with his body.  Diabetes, way overweight, just always been very unhealthy and abusive to his body. This morning Richard’s older brother calls and says that dad is not doing well he says he is ready to give in. His wife is with him but he thinks that Richard should contact his dad again today. I wonder if his brother called Richard’s two sisters too asking them to call his dad? I called Richard at work told him what his brother said and will let him make the decision to call his dad or not.

Now we have the unfortunate decision as to how to handle this with the boys. Of course if he passes away we will go to Florida and there will be a funeral and we will be there. The boys have not had some one close to them die though they have talked with us about it before. We talk about Grandpa Ray and Grandma Lynne a lot and what death is and means. I guess I am just not sure that I want to tell them before he passes and give them the opportunity to talk to their grandpa one last time. I think I would rather just let the cards fall the way they will.

Ok so that is what I have for now…


Have you cried wolf…I have

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

letter B

There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself he took a great breath and sang out, “Wolf! Wolf! The Wolf is chasing the sheep!”

The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces.

“Don’t cry ‘wolf’, shepherd boy,” said the villagers, “when there’s no wolf!” They went grumbling back down the hill.

Later, the boy sang out again, “Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!” To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away.

When the villagers saw no wolf they sternly said, “Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don’t cry ‘wolf’ when there is NO wolf!”

But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more.

Later, he saw a REAL wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, “Wolf! Wolf!”

But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn’t come.

At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn’t returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping.

“There really was a wolf here! The flock has scattered! I cried out, “Wolf!” Why didn’t you come?”

An old man tried to comfort the boy as they walked back to the village.

“We’ll help you look for the lost sheep in the morning,” he said, putting his arm around the youth, “Nobody believes a liar…even when he is telling the truth!”

today was one of those days…The boys were up at 5:45 um…yeah AM…dad kept them busy in Griff’s room for about 40 minutes…for that I am grateful. Then they hit my room running…dad hit the shower and I hid under the covers and pillows….wishing I had more pillows. Now usually, we have a no TV till 7AM. Today though, I caved, curious george was on at 6:45….again AM…and then it is off for the morning unless we manage to get our acts together early then they can play Wii or watch a show.  This is what followed:

After Cruiois George, Spencer told me how he had a headache and still did not feel well…see this post…  I say to him, “your fever free and you were just crazy man with your brother…I think we will go to school and stay in for recess and PE”…the response “but mom, my legs are really sore”…insert puppy dog eyes here. I hold strong…”no, you will be going.” we head down stairs and he eats a small bowl of cereal…unusual, but he is recovering…OK “so Spence if you stay home it is in your room all day with books and legos. That is 6 hours… You come down for lunch and one show afterwards ”  Surely this will change his mind…..”okay mom, that is fine.”…WTF…who is this child…so I call him in sick…natural consquence for what he is about to do…cry wolf…

He does it…he stays in his room all day..plays Lego, and reads books and magazines for 6 hours..(Crap I don’t think I could do that.) He comes down for lunch and heads right back up afterwords…at 3:30 he is allowed to come down and watch a survivorman. This is not to say that he did not ask, on many occasions, to be allowed to come out of his room…he did but really only about 6 times…once an hour…I took the opportunity to remind him of the boy who cried wolf…he knew exactly what I was saying and why I was saying it. He got it…

…he is going to school tomorrow. He will think twice about crying wolf again…he told me so.

my own personal blog-a-thon…I guess..

As promised more about the writing and spelling fiend…Griffin.

He has been into writing and drawing A LOT…this is a new thing for me as Spence never drew or did much writing.  Griffin loves to look at simple words and sound them out.  (This Spencer was doing but about 6 months earlier some where around 3 and a half close to four. In fact the first word that he actually read was lonestar…and we have never gone there…it was funny. )  Just goes to show how different kids are from each other even when raised in the same exact environment. Griffin, like Spencer, loves the Magic Tree House books and Richard reads them to him every night. Part of having them read to you is that you have to try to sound out the words to the titles.  So he has a good handle on the easy words like to, and, now, the…you get what I mean.  He has transferred this to the everyday words he sees around his life.  He usually spends about 10-15 minutes, a number times a day, drawing at his easel.  It is dry erase and chalk. Lately, he has been writing words like cat, hat, mat, lip, man, can, etc.. by just standing there and saying them and writing the letters he thinks are right…thing is…every one is right…GENIUS I TELL YOU…well, no but a mom can dream. He has been writing and spelling his name about 4 months now and it has bloomed into this. He is drawing houses and cities and all sorts of things. I guess what they say is true if you provide the learning tools they will gravitate to them and pick it up…cuz I certainly do not drill him or make him sit and learn with me. He is excited to learn to write our last name and is having a hard time with the ‘a’…I am just so proud of him and so happy for him to be excited to learn. The next spelling test he gives himself on the board I will take a picture and show you my smart 4 year olds work….it is very legible too!! A mom can be proud and brag now and then. All this from the little boy who could not hear for the first nearly two years of his small life.

In other news, the birthday went off without a hitch and a good day was had by all.  Griffin managed to take a 2 hour nap since he was awake at 4:blessed 15 AM. That was odd for us…it has been a while. The cake was delicious and the conversation…enlightening. I have a friend whose mom is in her late 80’s and struggling with dementia.  A little bit of denial going on with the rest of the family. It is hard to watch.  She just got her drivers license taken…it is hard for her and for the family. We also talked about some BIG MEAT that her in-laws brought over for dinner on Saturday…the whole “big meat” conversation went south fast. If you know me at all, then you know that was to be expected.

Finally, I am glad to have had so much time with my boys together over these past days but can I just say....

YA -freakin’- HOO they go back to school tomorrow.  I need the regimen of my life back.

the BIG 4-0…

plus six….hehehe.

OK so today Richard is finally the same age as me…less 34 days.  He can not call me old lady till next January 11th when I am his old lady for 34 days! He takes great pleasure in that 34 days and every opportunity to call me old lady. Ha time is up!

We had homemade rice pancakes this morning…(cooked rice, onion, salt, pepper and eggs mixed together and cooked in butter PAM) with warmed sliced ham served with apple sauce. It was most satisfying..the boys were not too hip but dad loved it and that is what counts. The boys ended up with frosted mini wheat’s after trying the rice pancakes.  GO figure.  After Sunday School the boys (all three of them) went swimming at the local pool.  It is obviously, indoors, and for any sized family to swim from 11:30 – 1:00 is six bucks. The water is a very balmy 82° plus and the boys don’t get cold…even the big boy (dad), and  that is saying something he usually is cold after five minutes in the water. Then it was out for lunch and home for the afternoon.

He loved his gift from the boys…two movies he has been wanting: Stargate SG-1 and Narnia Prince Caspian. They each made him a card too full of sea creatures. For dinner he chose to stay home and I am making Porkchops and apple cole slaw. (Can’t link it but it is of course Rachael Ray.) His cake was made yesterday by the boys and I with our expert baking hands and the cake smells out of this world.  The boys can not grasp why dad would want a cake that doesn’t have frosting, just a dusting of powdered sugar!!! Go figure.  We will have some friends over for cake later on this afternoon or evening.  So that will be the extent of the ‘party’. Just one more thing the boys can not understand, why parents don’t have big blow out parties.

I also have a very good friend celebrating her birthday today.  Votemom stand up and take a bow…I know your 40 + something but I won’t tell a soul. **wink wink** Happy Birthday friend…and many, many more to come. Us old moms to toddlers have to stick together…maybe a club formation is in order…hmmm.  I hope your day is filled with fun memories and the love of your friends and family.I wish for you a healthy and carefree year ahead.

Tomorrow…pictures of Griffins writing and spelling on the big white board.  The kid wants to write and spell everything!! He cracks me up.

I love my mother to death…

…but sometimes she really pisses me off…I am over it…it did not last long..but man…she can grate on me…I guess that is a mothers job to some degree…I am certain that my boys would and do say the same things about me (or will very soon).

I had the gall to talk to her a little bit about my situation with N and ‘my discoveries’.  She went right into mother mode, trying to tell me, her 46 year old daughter, what to do and not to do. After her initial ‘scolding’ she tamed herself down and made such statements as, ‘I know we don’t agree on a lot of things about adoption’, and ‘I know that your situation is different from mine’ (ya think? for pete sake my brother is going to be 41 this year!) and just a bunch of other things before letting me get a word in edge wise.  I think what really threw her off is that I said that Spencer has a half sister out there somewhere.  (FYI, in case anyone forgot, so does Griffin and she had issue when I talked about that too) How about,” he already has so many people that love him” cause more loving him is a bad thing? She is worried about D and her entire family and what they will think…. She doesn’t want me to,”complicate Spencer’s little life any more”, her words not mine. I get where she is coming from, I do understand her, we have the same feelings about these things…I think I have a more educated view, and again, a totally different situation then she and my dad had when they adopted my brother.  Times are different. So for now I have satisfied her that I am just talking to our SW at The Cradle. The most I am interested in right now is to see if he wants pictures and a bit of information about how Spencer is and what he likes and such.  I am not giving out our names or address or anything else. I am not agreeing to meet him or talk to him on the phone even.  I explained to her that if I do nothing with this information and do not make an attempt at involving him even a little bit, then I did not do all I could do for Spencer. I could not tell him someday that I did what I could.  I can not make someone do something they don’t want to do.   If I do this and N closes us off, then, well, I tried.  I will leave it with N that if he ever changes his mind and does want pictures he should contact The Cradle.  I think my mom is good with that. For now….I do not know how much my SIL reads here anymore but I am sure she would tell you this is my mom’s style.

So for now we wait.  I talk to our social worker tomorrow and we start a conversation…let’s see where it goes. Sorry mom…I know it is not what you really deep inside think is right. Sometimes a grown woman makes decisions for herself…

some fun things…for school lunches

Spencer and I had been talking about eating healthier lately.  Wanting him to have better meals for munch so that he is not starving when he come home from school.  Now mind you, his lunch is very very early…he is at school by 8:45 and recess is at 10:50 with lunch at 11:10.  So mostly he is full from breakfast…the lunches at school, ummm, leave little to be desired. Some of them are really good and that is a plus but mostly not so much. He has his favorites too…he loves the french toast stick days and the pizza days of course.  He also like nachos and the occasional chicken sandwich. But for 20 days of the month to eat those types of lunches is, well, bluck…

Enter…laptop lunches… and Wrap N Mat…I found these two little gems through some internet buddies of mine and I tell ya these are both great. Always looking for the deal the laptop lunch I was able to score on Ebay for about $12 less then the actual vitural store. But I had to get black and purple. My boy so doesn’t care though. He loves the laptop lunch.  I love the no garbage lunch idea so we both win. The other one…the wrap n mat is great for those days that he does need to take a lunch with garbage…like a field trip.  I wrap his sandwich in the pirate one and when he is finished with it the garbage goes in the garbage and the wrap goes in his pocket. Again win win….and he even uses it in his laptop lunch.  It is way cool…in fact so cool that I received calls from two of his friends moms asking where to get one and one of the lunchroom supervisors wrote me a note asking for more information!!!  We had the old stand by lunch bag that clipped to his backpack because we have THIS back pack from Pottery Barn and his lunch hooked right on the front. It was not compact and ready for a garbage free lunch …I was always looking for containers that fit and usually got frustrated and used baggies. No more!!!

Check out the sites there are some great ideas for lunches too…

I am ADD..and I know it…and I am OK with it.

I can not believe how truly ADD I really am!!!  SERIOUSLY…

random from my life…

when I am on the internet I do not spend more time at one place then 10-15 minutes TOPS and that is stretching..then I am off to another web page or the like.I bounce around a LOT.

when I am talking on the phone I can have three or four conversations going about three or four different things. It drives the other person insane. No it is not called multi-tasking. But thanks.

when I am talking to someone in person I can drift in and out of many thoughts and again, drives them insane. I can be mid sentence and totally change the topic the nice thing is I usually do redirect back to the original conversation. It is not unusual for me to do this often and usually in every conversation.

I have a hard time concentrating on a page for my scrapbook and will often work on more then one page at a time, occasionally screwing things up and having to rearrange them.

church is the worst for me and I think that is why I don’t like to go…I really want to hear what is being said and learn and grow but I can not keep my mind on the words.  I can remember when I was younger I would count the number of panes in the windows and the number of bricks in the wall or the number of time the word the was said or other random mind chatter like that anything to not have to concentrate on the words. I also remember fighting to stay awake because I just could not listen to the word any more.

vacations have to be busy.  no sitting on my duff on the beach.  Active looking at history and taking in as much as I can. Even when all we would do for vacation would be to go to the same place the same time of each and every year and do nothing but sit and watch the sand blow I would find some trouble to get into. I could never GOD FORBID just lay in the sun and get tan…UGH

So I am digging deeper inside to try to understand my son a bit more and remember how I felt at his age and how being ADD made me feel…cuz…I think he is ADD and I am gonna make it work in his favor. DAMN IT